I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
