Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
