wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just want nice things and good sex
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
