i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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