i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
