yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
