p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
