as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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