then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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