hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
