yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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