I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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