Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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