He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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