y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize