doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
