When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize