You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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