are you so shy because you have an std?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
