Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
