i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
