Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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