Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
