you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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