If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize