She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
