Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
