Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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