I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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