how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
