I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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