Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize