just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
