Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
All the doctor said was why
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
