One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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