how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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