I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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