Plan B is the new Plan A
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
