you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
