omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
