i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
