I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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