If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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