Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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