i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
