So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
