my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
