I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
This is my gift to your gina
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Randomize
