I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
