I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again