i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.