I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident