If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We are all done wearing pants today
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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