There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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