Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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