Porn is love you can see.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
