Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize