Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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