We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize