brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Randomize
